RENEE Garing isn't the first AFLW player to return to top-flight footy after having a baby, and certainly won't be the last.
The down-to-earth midfielder – a stalwart of Geelong's leadership group until her pregnancy earlier this year – does not want this to be a "bounce back" story, nor for it to become yet another unrealistic expectation of what women "should" do after giving birth.
But it's well worth documenting the countless hours of planning, sleepless nights (and days, and nights again), and love and dedication for both family and football that have gone into Garing's story.
Because a mere 18 weeks after giving birth to son Parker via caesarean, Garing put her hand back up for AFLW selection, and has now been a Cats emergency for the past two matches.
The 34-year-old and her husband, Tony, announced they were expecting last November, with Garing immediately made inactive for the upcoming season.
She continued to run and complete strength training for as long as was medically advised, circling laps of GMHBA Stadium while teammates worked on footy drills, documenting her work with weekly Instagram posts.
Parker's due date came and went, and Garing still continued with modified strength work, wanting to help her chances of an AFLW return but also – and more importantly – because she genuinely enjoys it.
"Partially for me, I was hoping to get back, or seeing if I could get back. I love sport, it's a huge part of my life, it used to be netball and now it's footy. That competitive side of me can't wait to get back and play, if I can," Garing told womens.afl at the end of pre-season.
"I love being active, and I feel better for it. It changed, through pregnancy, and in the end it was just walking and low body workouts, but I feel so much better for it if I have some physical activity in my day.
"So it was partly for that. And for Parker too – if I stayed home all day, that's fine for some people, but … I think I'm a better mum because of it. At the same time, if there's days where he's not coping, or I'm tired, and it takes us a bit longer, I'm trying to be really conscious of listening to my body, both during the pregnancy and now.
"It's also new for a lot of people as well. There aren't heaps of mums out there who are trying to get back to a competitive level of football. I listened to podcasts while I was pregnant for inspiration about people, but one person's timeline isn't someone else's."
Greater Western Sydney midfielder Emily Goodsir recently made her comeback seven months after having son Cruz.
Sharni Webb, Daisy Pearce and Jess Duffin have all done the same, while Sophie Abbatangelo, Maddy McMahon, Bríd Stack, Courtney Wakefield and Dana Hooker all had children before starting to play at the top level. Melbourne's Sammie Johnson announced she would be stepping down for the remainder of this season due to pregnancy.
There are also plenty of players whose partners have given birth while they've been on AFLW lists, and who have done their share of round-the-clock caring while playing football and holding down jobs.
Garing has drawn on the experience and wisdom of teammate Kate Darby and assistant coach Elyse Coventry, who have both had babies in the past two years.
Coincidentally, Darby returned to the primary list after having baby Ella in place of the inactive Garing.
"Kate's certainly been one who I can look at and say she's done it. It certainly hasn't been without its challenges, but she's been one who I hit up for questions and ask how to handle things," Garing said.
"She had a bit more time, but she was very much alone at home because it was COVID. At that point in time, there were pretty strict guidelines on how many people you could have into the club for sessions and things like that, which limited her.
"She took everything on, and I suppose that's something I've tried to do, if they let me. Some days, he's crying and I'm trying to get him in the car and I wonder if I'm pushing him too much, but then he's OK and happy.
"He could be crying at home too, so there's a level of balance in that that I'm conscious of, making sure I'm not dragging him around and he can have some play time, and it's not just about me. He has to come first."
Before joining Geelong's VFLW team in 2017, Garing had been a fixture in Geelong's top-flight netball scene, having won the A-grade best and fairest three times while representing St Mary's, also playing in the Victorian Netball League.
Football proved to be an opportunity to try something new after squeezing as much as she could out of netball.
Swapping the netball hoop for the blue and white hoops proved to be a sage move, and Garing did not miss a single AFLW match until this year.
Her due date receding into the distance, Garing eventually underwent a caesarean. Having originally planned for a natural birth, the change threw up an array of difficulties for both her football and everyday lives.
"I would have loved to have had a natural birth if that's what it was going to be, but it wasn't because he was struggling and the most important thing to us was to get him out in the healthiest way," she said.
"We were told leading in that a caesarean would be a longer recovery. You do what you have to do to get him out, and in my head, I was thinking, that's pushing us back.
"So we started pretty lightly, not even walking. Post-caesarean, recovery is key. I was just walking around the house in that first week. I told Tony not to let me outside, and he knew what the plan was, I wasn't able to go down the street.
"Then it was walking, lots of pelvic floor exercises, then it built up with more exercises as it went on. After a few weeks, I was able to do some cardio, so bike, cross-trainer, which I started to do at home initially.
"We were coming into the club on a Monday night for education and trying to do strengthening work with the girls, but we soon learnt that 'witching hour' (an unsettled baby in the late afternoon/evening) is a real thing. I tried to get my stuff done in the day, and then hang out with the girls, be up the back in the meeting feeding him, and if he was too noisy, we'd catch up with coaches afterwards.
"Slowly, once I was able to drive (generally six weeks post-caesarean to help the wound heal), we started coming in three days, but again, in our own time."
Working with both a private women's health professional and club doctors, Garing had been readying herself to focus on rebuilding her pelvic muscles after a natural birth, but suddenly had to deal with the realities of what boiled down to a wound.
"A basic sit-up is a no-go at this point. There are things about caesareans like having a wound, versus natural being more around the pelvic floor and things like that," Garing said.
"I've had to be more conscious of my core and my abdominal muscles having been cut open, basically. During pregnancy you can get some abdominal separation too, so that's another thing to get repaired.
"Even during pregnancy as well, there are certain exercises that can cause that abdominal separation to get worse, so I was really conscious of that and trying to make sure it was easier to recover at the other end."
The change in AFLW season timing also caught Garing off-guard.
The plan was to be ready for a pre-season starting in November, but suddenly, round one was scheduled for the end of August.
However, Garing had already made significant progress, allowing Geelong to list her as an active player for season seven, effectively just putting her on the injury list while she built conditioning.
A day session at the club could look something like this:
- Settle Parker to sleep during the drive into the club
- Touch session with a handful of players in for a short, voluntary session
- Breastfeeding
- Running session around an oval in the Kardinia Park precinct while Parker slept again
- A hastily eaten salad roll from the club café
- Gym workout
- More breastfeeding
- Back home and hope Parker doesn't wake up in the car
Among all of that are nappy changes, burping the baby, rocking or swinging the carrier to help Parker settle (an unscheduled workout in its own right), changes of clothes, and chatting to various staffers, coaches and players who pass through the players' lounge.
The organisation required wouldn't surprise many parents, and it's something to which PE teacher Garing is naturally drawn.
The well-stocked, Mary Poppins-like baby bags and pram taken into the club carry everything that could possibly be needed – spare outfits, nappies, plastic bags for dirty clothes and bibs, toys, waterproof mats, blankets, and a few more nappies to boot.
If all that doesn't sound like too much to cope with already, there's a lack of sleep making things just that little bit harder to deal with than normal.
Garing hasn't completely adjusted to the role that tiredness now plays in her life. What has changed is her perception of what tiredness is, and how to continue to put one foot in front of the other.
Before Parker, the idea of operating on such energy levels seemed impossible.
But once the day gets rolling, and she starts moving (whether that's structured training or simply going for a walk), things get a little easier.
An important milestone for the Garings was Parker being able to feed with a bottle, allowing Renee to spend longer on the track.
Breastfeeding has also added its own unique challenges, ranging from sourcing sports bras with greater support and protection, to ensuring she's eating and drinking enough.
"Early days, I didn't think that'd be possible to get to full training, and if he didn't take a bottle and could be away from me for two or three hours in an evening, then it wasn't going to be possible," Garing said.
"It's getting used to a bottle, then getting used to a bottle without me being there or comforting him.
"It's not something I've ever had to worry about, but now I need more support than I've ever needed, and that's a reality. I called up all the mums I know and asked what support was needed, the Zena (protective and padded) vest is something that's been recommended.
"Your breast tissue is more sensitive than what it was, so you can bruise easier, which I didn't know, so that's all learning.
"There's fuelling as well, trying to breastfeed and as things increase in training, I need to make sure I'm refuelling and drinking enough water for not just breastfeeding – because that in itself, I'm starving and I'm thirsty all the time – but then if you're adding in training sessions making sure there's enough food for you and to feed the little man."
Above all, Garing is keen to encourage women to feel comfortable returning to some form of exercise, whatever that may be for their individual circumstances.
"I'm also really conscious of changing focus from after having a baby, it shouldn't just be about getting your body looking a certain way, but actually, what do you want to do with your body?" she said.
"For me, I want to get back to playing footy, but for others, it might be they want to do their walks like they used to or get back to doing yoga or whatever it may be, and the importance of making that 30 minutes or an hour to do some exercise, even if it is broken up throughout the day and being flexible around that.
"I'm not very good at napping throughout the day; some people say sleep while the baby sleeps during the day, but I was never going to do that. But I get more energy by exerting energy by doing exercise. I hope someone's getting some motivation out of that as well."